Emma's Diary
by R5aura
Summary: Ross receives a letter from a boy named Thomas, his sister Emma is in hospital, she tried to commit suicide. The boy tells Ross he has something to do with the reason she tried to commit. He also receives Emma's diary, which she wanted him to read. Ross realizes Emma is the girl he's been having weird dreams about for months. He wants to meet her, but what if it's already too late?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! Okay so I'm really sorry that it took me so long to upload :( Anyways, this is a new story called "Emma's Diary" I've been working on this really hard and here's the first chapter (finally haha) Sorry if it's a little boring or whatever but this is still my first fan fiction and I promise it will get better. I'm also sorry for any grammar mistakes but I'm no English so please don't blame me I try my best. Well enough of me annoying you lets get to the story! I hope you like it, don't forget to give you're opinion!**

**Xxx Anouk**

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**Sunday, 11pm.**

**Emma´s POV**

_I ran as fast as I could. Riker gave me a break of an half hour to change clothes. It was 11pm. I knew Thomas would be home around 11:30 and that was also the moment that I had to be back at Riker's again. When I finally reached my house it was 11:05. I let myself fall to the cold, hard floor. I stayed there for a little while. After a minute of five I took some paper and started writing. _

_And that's what you're reading right now. I'm writing exactly what I did, and what I'm going to do. Cause today I'm done with my life. I've been bullied, my mom died, my dad is addicted to drugs, I saved enough money to get him in rehab by being a whore for almost a year, and now I'm done with it. My life. My whole fucking life. I hate it so much that I can't even tell you. _

_I'm truly sorry for what I've done and for the people I left behind. Well, actually I'm only sorry for Thomas. I love you, big brother. Always did, always going to. The other people? I don't really care about you anymore. Seemed the fact you didn't care about me either. _

_Ashley, I used to be your BFF remember? Until you turned your back to me. Just like everyone else. Just a simple question. Why would you bully a girl for crying because her mom died? Why would you call her weak? Or stupid? It should have been your mom. It should have been you. It should have been me. _

_Thanks. Thank you all. Most of you are the reason that you're now looking at a dead girl. But you know, that wasn't even the worst. The worst, that was Riker. How you ruined my life…I can't even describe. But you did ruin my life. _

_To all girls around the world, who will never know my story; don't fall in love with a guy for his words and his gifts. Or because he is famous. Cause they can be big liars. And you were Riker. A very big liar. A life destroyer. Thanks for that. See what you've done? Killed another girl. And no, I'm not talking about that girl you shot this morning. Since when is calling the police a crime? Like this is gonna change your mind. You probably won't even care about me being dead. You'll just find another girl, right? Well I hope she's good enough for you._

_It's 11:23 now. I'm sitting in my room, door's locked. Knife next to me. So goodbye._

_P.S. To Thomas,  
I love you forever, just remember that, I'm really sorry. I want you to send my diary (in the drawer of my desk) to Ross Lynch. That may be weird, but please do it for me. Love you. 3_

_Goodbye everyone,_

_XXX_

_Emma Jones, 14-years old, girl, dead by suicide, 11:25._

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**Two days later**

***Tuesday, 12 pm***

Ross walked down the stairs. 'Hey!' He said as he walked into the kitchen, to find only Rydel. 'Where are the others?' he asked.

'Mom and dad have already gone to bed. So have Rocky and Ryland. Riker is somewhere nobody knows.' She said.

Ross sighed. 'Where does he go every day?'

Rydel shook her head. 'I have no idea.'

Then Ross saw the cardboard box on the table. 'Hey what's that?' he asked.

'I don't know. It was at the front door. Your name is on it so I waited for you, I didn't want to open it.' Rydel responded. 'Maybe it's something important. Or fan mail.' She added the last with a voice like she didn't expect anything else.

Ross sighed. He wished it was something else than fan mail. He didn't like the whole popular-actor-and-band life. He hated it. Of course it was fun to get fan mail from people who thought he was amazing, but they always thought they knew him. The truth was that they didn't know him at all. Nobody did to be honest. Even his parents didn't. They didn't know about the suicidal thoughts, about the cuts and the overly sensitive reactions to things. They didn't know about the nights where he cried himself to sleep and the weird dreams about the girl. He didn't know who she was but she seemed to go through the same things as he did. Depression. The big black hole in which they both fell and didn't know how to climb out again. He knew the girl would exist somewhere.

Where? No idea. But she was there. Ross knew it. And when he'd found her, he'd marry her. Because she would understand him. And together they would come through it. And they would be happy together. The only problem was that he had to find her. The world was big and she could be everywhere. But he had to find her. He had to.

He hid all these things because nobody would understand him. They would say he was crazy. Ross admitted it was insane. He was a better actor than some people thought. The only person who knew a little of it was Ratliff. His best friend. He was the only one who knew the truth behind the happy and always joking Ross. Well, not the entire truth. But he knew about the overly sensitive reactions and the cuts. What Ratliff didn't know was that Ross had a complete plan of how he'd kill himself and that his goodbye letter was already written. Hidden on a secret place of course, but it was there. If Ratliff would know that, it would break his heart. Ross knew that. Ratliff was the only person that would cry on his funeral if Ross committed suicide. At least, that was what Ross thought. But he couldn't kill himself. Not yet. He had to find the girl of his dreams first.

He carefully opened the box. It was a small package with a letter and something that looked like a book. Ross took the letter and started reading.

_Dear Ross Lynch,_

_My name is Thomas. You probably don't know me. Please don't stop reading cause this is not just fan mail. I'm not a fan. To be honest, I hate your band. You'll understand the reason why later._

_My sister is a fan. Her name is Emma. I bet she's your biggest fan. Well, was. She's probably going to die._

_I'm not going to ask you for an autograph, or ask you to come to her funeral or whatever. I only want you to ask to do me a favor. The other thing I sent you is her diary. She used it every day. Our dad gave it to her three years ago, when our mom died. I read every single word she wrote because I was the one who found her. Yes Ross, I found her when she tried to commit suicide. She asked me to send you her diary. I read it because I wanted to know the whole reason why she tried to kill herself. It's not stupid teenage shit. My little sister had real problems. If I'd been her, I have committed suicide a very long time ago. I always thought she was that happy girl, well, turns out she wasn't._

_She's in the hospital now. She lost a lot of blood and the doctors think she's not going to make it. The reason why she tried to suicide it is closer to you as you think Ross. So please, if you care at least a little bit about my sister, or your fans in general, I'll ask you to read my little sisters life story._

_Sincerely,  
Thomas Jones._

'Wow…' Ross said slowly.

'What's wrong? Ross are you okay?' Rydel asked worried.

'No…it's just…fan mail.'

Rydel seemed concerned. 'Ross are you su-'

'I'm upstairs.' Ross cut her off. He grabbed the letter and the diary and walked up the stairs. He let himself fall to the bed.

The diary slipped outta his hand and fell to the floor.

_The reason why she tried to suicide it is closer to you as you think Ross. _

The sentence echoed through his head. Why would a girl suicide because of him? Ross sighed and slowly reached for the diary that lay on the floor. It was a sort of black book with golden edges. He closed his eyes, sighed, opened the diary and started reading.


	2. Chapter 2

_Dear diary,_

_This is me._

A little arrow pointed at a photo that was glued to the page. It was a picture of a girl. She smiled happy at Ross. She seemed a year of 10/11. Ross smiled softly back at the picture and continued reading.

_I'm Emma. I'm 11 years old. I live in London. Daddy said that one day we'll move to America, that's his biggest dream. I want to go to America too. _

_He gave me this diary because mom is in the hospital. _

_It had been stormy all day. Then, in the car, there was a big lightning and there fell a tree on top of the car. I was okay but mom had to go to the hospital._

_I think it's my fault. I had an audition for a ballet show that day. Miss Elegance (that's not her real name but everyone calls her Miss Elegance) said that I was the best dancer so she wanted me to do an audition. I guess the universe didn't think the same. I must be a the worst dancer ever. Maybe the universe wanted to say I have to stop dancing. I'll never dance again, then I know for sure nothing bad can happen. I hope mom will be okay. Dad calls me so I gotta go._

_XXX Emma_

Ross turned the page.

_Dear diary,_

_After dad called me he told me that mom died. I can't believe it. Mom can't die. I need her. I've been crying for hours. Even Thomas and dad are crying. I don't know what to do. I'm so sad._

_Emma_

Ross stopped reading and tried to get Emma's way of thinking. She lost her mother. It was hard to believer for her and she thought it was her fault so she decided she'd never dance again.

He nodded slowly and continued reading.

_Dear diary,_

_It's now been about two weeks since mom died. There were a lot of people at the funeral. Everyone was crying._

Ross flipped through the pages a bit.

_Dear diary,_

_It's now about four weeks since mom died._

_Dear diary,_

_It's been four weeks and a few days since mom died._

_Dear diary, _

_It's now about seven weeks since mom died._

It started the same every time and it was always something like 'I miss her.' Then he saw one that was different.

_Dear diary,_

_It's now been about eleven weeks since mom died. The kids at school bully me because I ran crying outta class when we were talking about the dead. They all think I'm a loser because I don't talk to people anymore and the only thing I do is cry and stare like I'm a zombie. _

The words flashed in front of Ross's eyes.

_I have no friends left._

_Everyone bullies me._

_Everyone hates me._

_I'm just a worthless monster._

_That must be the reason mom died, because I'm so horrible._

_I should be dead._

And the next page.

_Dear diary,_

_I started cutting._

It was the only thing she wrote. Just that one sentence. But it hurt Ross. Maybe he didn't know this girl, but she didn't deserve this. Why would you bully a girl because she lost her mom? How could it go so far that she started cutting? She didn't deserve it.

On the next page nothing was written but there was blood on the page and a photograph from scars.

Ross was speechless.

He looked at the scars on his own arm. And back to the picture and the blood in the diary.

He threw the diary away. He couldn't handle this.

He ran his hand through his hair. For some reason it became harder to breathe. Maybe he just needed some fresh air.

He went outside and started running. He didn't even knew where he was going to, but he just wanted to forget what happened.

_Please don't stop reading cause this is not just fan mail._

The sentences echoed through his head like someone was reading them out loud for him.

_To be honest, I hate your band. You´ll understand the reason why later._

He came closer to the park.

_She´s probably going to die._

Ross shook his head harshly.

_I found her after she tried to suicide._

GET.

_The doctors think she's not going to make it._

OUTTA.

_The reason why she tried to suicide it is closer to you as you think Ross._

MY.

_So please, if you care at least a little bit about my sister, or your fans in general, I´ll ask you to read my little sisters life story. _

HEAD.


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm sooooo sorry for the late update :/ I try to upload as fast as possible but my parents were freaking me out and I was kinda busy with school so I'm sorry...  
Anyways, I know the story is a bit depressive, with all the suicide and cutting and everything, but that's for like 5 chapters or something and after that it gets a little more romantic and stuff, so please keep on reading ;)  
Okay enough of me talking, I hope you like the story and don't forget to review to tell me what you think about it..  
(btw I warn you, this is a pretty weird chapter****)**

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After Ross had been sitting on a bench in the park for about two hours, the voices in his head finally calmed down, so he decided to go home since he wasn't really in the mood to spend the night on a cold park bench.

When he walked down the street he bumped into someone.

He slowly lifted his head to see who it was. The man in front of him didn't look familiar.

Actually, he looked pretty weird, Ross couldn't see his face, or eyes, it was all one big black hole.

"Not again…" He whispered to himself. He could just feel the panic attack coming.

His feet froze and he couldn't move anymore. The world around him started to spin and he got a little dizzy.

"No." He said to himself. 'Do NOT start to panic. There is no need for doing that. There is no need for hallucinations. You are not going to die. Everything is completely normal, just calm down Ross. Calm the fuck do-"But halfway his thoughts he was cut off by the man grabbing him and throwing him harshly against some tree behind him.

He collided with the tree harder than he wished he would. He couldn't breathe anymore and the amount of pain in his body was huge.

He knew it was a hallucination. He knew it wasn't real. But this time, it felt so real, that a part of him started to believe this wasn't a hallucination. It was the truth. This was actually happening.

Then his vision got blurry. Something inside him told him to fight against it. He had to see clear what was happening. He might not let the hallucination take over control. So he turned his head a bit and tried to focus on his fingers. It worked, his vision became less blurry.

But then he saw he was bleeding. But it wasn't blood. It were colors. He was bleeding all sorts of colors. He tried to touch them, but when he did, the colors got angry. They turned around and started to attack him. They started to eat his skin until there was nothing left then bone. And then they broke his bones into tiny little pieces. It hurt so much that Ross knew 100% sure that what he saw was the truth and that he was going to die.

His vision became blurry again, but he was too tired to fight against it. He just let it all happen. The hallucination, whatever was happening in the real world, he didn't care. He gave up.

Then everything turned black.

* * *

_Dear diary,_

_Today it's been exactly six months since mom died. And I still miss her. I think I always will._

_I'm sorry I didn't write for a while, but there happened a lot in the last weeks. I've been trying hard to make things better._

_I've talked to a teacher at school about my problems. She taught me how not to let the bullies get to me and she showed me that cutting myself doesn't change anything. The problems are still there, I didn't make them disappear, I only made things worse by hurting myself even more._

_"Look, you can choose, or having problems, or having problems and scars. And the scars cause even more problems. So the first option is the best. Because if you can admit that you have problems, you can try to fix them. If you try to handle the pain inside by hurting yourself on the outside, you have twice the amount of pain. So twice as many problems, right?"_

_That's what she said. She also told me that she used to cut too when she was younger. She showed me her scars. And that was the moment were something seemed to change. If that woman in front of me was strong enough to stop cutting, then I could do it too, right?_

_So that's exactly what I did. It's been terribly hard but I stopped cutting for almost a week now. And for the first in a really long time, I can say I'm proud at myself._

_xxx Emma._

* * *

'Boy? Hey? C'mon wake up buddy.' Ross heard a voice say, it sounded very far away. He tried to open his eyes. 'What…?'

'Hey, you're awake.' The man said. 'How are you feeling?'

'I-I'm fine…What happened?' He asked.

'I don't know,' The man said as he helped Ross up. 'You bumped into me and then you're eyes started going all weird and you passed out.'

'Oh…Okay…' Ross said. "Panic attack." He thought. He shook his head and sighed deep.

'Do I have to help you with something? Like, make sure you get home safe or…?'

'No…I'm fine…I just…Er….Bye.' Ross said, then he turned around and walked away.

After about ten minutes he finally got home. It was around 3 am in the morning and he felt like a mess.

He walked inside and tried to be as quiet as possible, so he wouldn't wake anyone. Then he walked upstairs, to his room. He let himself fall to the bed and sighed. 'Can this day get any worse?' Then he noticed the diary on his desk. It was still opened on the bloody page. He sighed. He knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep anyway, after all that happened. So he decided to continue reading the diary. He had to know what the reason was why Emma tried to suicide.

He stood up, took a seat at his desk and turned the page, to discover another one full of problems and sadness. He started reading.

* * *

_Dear diary,_

_It's been a month or so since the last time I wrote you. I told you I tried to stop cutting. After two weeks I had an extreme break down that ended with 37 cuts (yes, I counted). I didn't really have a reason to cut again. Things are going better. Well, a week ago, I thought things were going better._

_Today, Thomas told me he discovered dad's addicted to drugs and alcohol. We barely saw him because he was always at his work. Well that's what he told us; turns out he got fired two months ago. He couldn't handle the fact mom died so he started drinking and using drugs._

_We tried to talk to him about it, but that ended with dad throwing a knife at Thomas. He was almost dead._

_Thomas and I really want to get dad in rehab but we're 13 and 16, and dad spent all our money on drugs. How are we supposed to pay it?_

_I don't know what to do anymore._

_Emma._

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**Thanks for reading, please review if you want me to continue, and to give me your opinion.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys, I'm REALLY sorry for the late update but I had my reasons. I probably have to go to a psych and everything, I'd love to explain you guys everything but I'd probably only bore you with my story and it would take waaaaayy too long so just forget about it. But that was kinda the reason my parents didn't let me have time to write in a while. As you guys know I'm Dutch and I wrote this reaaally fast because I didn't have much time so I didn't have time to check the grammar and everything so I'm sorry if it's rushed and weird and everything but I hope you understand it. I hope you'll enjoy the story :) (also I'm sorry for more late updates but at least now you know the reason why) Xxx**

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The next morning, Rydel found him. Ross lay on his bed with a diary in his hands. She tried to take the diary away carefully, but he hold it too tight, like it was something really important to him. She pulled harder, Ross woke up. 'RYDEL DON'T TOUCH THAT!' he yelled.

'Sorry...'

Ross sighed. 'It's okay.'

'I didn't know you have a diary Ross?' Rydel grinned.

'This isn't mine. It was in the package last week.'

'Why would someone send you a diary?' She asked confused.

'Rydel you have no idea.' Ross sighed. 'I've read everything. And I know it.'

Rydel frowned. 'You know what..?'

'Where Riker goes to every day.'

'Really? Tell me.'

'I can't. Not yet. But I'll tell you once.'

'Er...okay?'

'Trust me.'

'Er...sure.'

Ross stood up. 'Would you please leave my room now? I have to learn some lines for Austin & Ally. We have to shoot an episode tomorrow.

Rydel nodded and left Ross's room.

'Thanks.'

He let himself fall to the bed again. He discovered Rikers secret. And he wished he never did.

Seemed as though he wasn't really in the mood to learn the lines for A&A, he decided to go downstairs to grab some food and then try to learn his lines.

After he finished his scrambled egg (with some pieces of pickles of course, Ally would be proud) he wanted to walk back upstairs. But then he heard two people talking in the living room.

'How's the business going Riker?' He recognized Ratliff's voice.

Wait. Ratliff knew about Rikers "business"? Ross was confused. What was the deal with Ratliff? It seemed like he knew everything.  
'Good. Only that stupid London-girl tried to commit suicide. She's in the hospital now. We can't lose her. She's good. Lot of people ask for her.'

Ross heart stopped beating. Emma. They were talking about Emma.  
'Let me handle that girl Riker, she has a brother. If he's half as hot as his sister he'll end up with the same job as her.'

Ross felt sick. Ratliff didn't discover Riker's secret. He worked together with him. Before he realized what he was doing he ran into the living room.

'I HATE YOU!' he screamed. 'I SO FUCKING UNBELIEVABLE HATE YOU!'

Riker turned slowly around and looked at him. 'Hello Ross. How's my baby brother doing today?' He said way too calm.

'I hate you Riker!' Ross yelled again.  
'Don't be so mean Rossy. What have I done?'

'You' Ross pointed at Riker with a shaky finger. 'and you' he pointed at Ratliff. 'You're insane. Crazy. She tried to commit suicide. She fucking tried to kill herself. Because of YOU.'

Riker and Ratliff looked at each other. Riker stood up from the couch and pinned Ross to the wall.

'What do you know?'

'Everything Riker.'

Riker pushed him harder against the wall, Ross could barely breathe anymore. 'If you tell something to anyone I kill you. And Laura. Calum. Maia. Everyone.'  
Ross had never felt so scared in his entire life. He knew Riker was crazy enough to do it. 'Got it?'  
Ross nodded. Riker let him go. 'Leave.' Ross ran upstairs. When he reached his room he saw the razor blade on his desk. A few seconds later that same desk and his arm were both covered with blood.

He sighed. Then someone knocked on the door. He wiped the blood on his desk away with his hoody and shove his sleeve down. 'It's open!' The door opened slowly.

'Ross.'

It was the only thing he said. Ross froze.

'That wasn't very smart of you. Do you want me to tell your secrets to everyone? What would your parents say if they found out their son was suicidal? That he has already written his goodbye letter, which he hid in his dressing room at A&A?'

'How do you know about that letter?'

'I know everything about you.'

'Not everything.'

'I know enough.'

'Enough for what?'

'Enough to destroy your life.'

'I don't have a life anymore. I'm already dead on the inside.'

'Shut up Ross.'

'What are you trying to say?'

'I'm trying to say that I will tell your little secrets to everyone and that it will ruin your career if you tell anyone about the thing between Riker and me.'

Ross turned around and looked at Ratliff. 'I won't tell anyone. I already said.'

Ratliff smiled a mean smile. 'You better don't.'

Then he turned around and locked the door.  
'Ratliff? Ratliff what are you doing?'  
'Nothing. This is gonna hurt just a little much.' Ratliff grinned at him.

He threw Ross to the bed a little harder that he would've wished. Ross tried to stop Ratliff but he grabbed his wrists and put them together above his head. Ross was helpless.

He tried to struggle, tried to get Ratliff off him, but he couldn't. the grip on his hands was too tight.

Ross stared at his used-to-be-best friend. 'Ratliff. Please don't. ' But the only thing Ratliff did was throwing him an angry look.

Ross sighed. He tried to get Ratliff off him again.

When he finally gave up and calmed down a bit, Ratliff leaned down. His lips almost touching Ross's ear. 'Don't worry Ross. This will be good. For me at least.' The raspy voice, mixed with the cold chuckle and smug grin after he said those words, scared Ross even more.

He shook his head. This could not be happening. Ratliff, his friend, his best friend, well, used to be, was trying to rape him.

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**Don't forget to review :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Yaaaaay new chapter!**

**Honestly I think this is a pretty bad chapter so sorry, from the next chapter things will get more like happy and romantic and everything, anyways I hope you like it :)**

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After a horrible night full of other nightmares in which Ratliff was raping him, Riker was beating the shit outta him or Ross died, he decided it was time to go outta bed.

He had to be at the A&A studio around 6am. So he walked downstairs, ate something, brushed his teeth, fixed his hair and did the other daily stuff.

Around 05:45 am he grabbed his keys and drove away in his car.

When he almost reached the studio his vision got all blurry.

"Not again" he thought.

He tried to focus on the driveway in front of him, but it wasn't working.

Then he saw Emma. She lay in a bed in a hospital.

She was sleeping. Or she was in a coma, Ross wasn't sure.

There were a lot of machines around her, so it was probably a coma.

He shook his head harshly, it worked, his vision turned back to normal.

He parked at the A&A studio and walked inside, but he kept thinking about Emma in the hospital.

He wasn't sure if it actually was a hallucination...

* * *

**Emma's POV**

I woke up in a hospital. There were machines around me. The only thing I thought on that moment: "Can someone make these things stop beeping, bleeping and pinging or whatever other sound they made?" Why the first thing was not WHY DE FUCK AM I IN A HOSPITAL?! was simply because I already knew the reason. I dreamt this a hundred times. But I knew that this time it was real. I tried to commit suicide. And seemed my condition right now I survived it. Damn. A very big huge damn. D.A.M.N. Seemed like had to try it again. I sighed. That was gonna be difficult cause nobody would leave me alone anymore when I came outta the hospital.

Then I saw a doctor talking to someone. He had turned his back to me so I couldn't see to who he was talking.

'How big is the chance she's going to survive?' I heard someone say. Thomas. I recognized that voice everywhere.

'I'm sorry boy. it's been a week now. She lost a lot of blood and we don't know if she has any more complications. She hasn't show any sign of life.'

'I said: How big is the chance she is going to survive?' Thomas repeated, slower this time.

'If she doesn't wake up in an hour: no chance.'

'How big is the chance she's gonna wake up in an hour?'

'5.'

'5 what? 5 on a scale of 10? 50%?' Thomas said hopeful.

'5%' the doctor said. Then he moved a little to the side. I saw Thomas and his tired face. He looked horrible. He looked like...like he tried to commit suicide. Like he was dead. I knew pretty sure that I was the one who tried to kill herself. But Thomas looked more like he belonged in the hospital than me.

'Thomas.' I tried to say. I wanted to give him a hug. To tell him it would be fine. That he had to carry for dad and that it would be alright. That it would be better if I was gone. That he would be safe. I felt like I had a normal speech level but it sounded like I whispered. I tried to yell as hard as I could. 'Thomas.' still whispering. 'Thomas!' a little harder, but still not hard enough. I screamed my lungs outta my body 'THOMAS!' and of course. On that moment my voice came back. I think they could still hear me yelling at the other side of the hospital. The doctor turned around. Slowly. With a very, very, VERY shocked face.

Ladies and gentleman, may I present you, Emma Jones, girl, 14 years old, middle long brown hair, green eyes and very, very, VERY scary and surprising. And another thing that's typical me is my style to come fashionable too late. Okay, okay, I'm always way too late. At parties, birthdays, school, everywhere. So of course, I mean like why not, I waited till the last hour when I had to wake up from a coma. Emma Jones people. Emma Jones.

'What. The. Fuck.' That was the first time I heard a doctor say that. Probably also the last time. Thomas's eyes widened. 'Emma?!' he ran towards me and hugged me, well as far as that was possible because of all the annoying machines and stuff around me.

'My gosh, you're still alive.'

'I'm a though girl. You won't break me that easy.' I said. I knew it was true. It wasn't easy to break me. Well, it used not to be easy. Since the last months I was a mess. The only thing I wanted was being dead and forget I ever existed. So when I said: 'I'm sorry. I'll never do it again. I'm so truly incredible sorry.' I didn't mean a word. But Thomas didn't know that of course.

'It's okay sis. We'll come through this. Together. And that band dude will regret what he has done. He'll wish he was dead.'

'Thomas.' I said calmly, even though I absolutely wasn't. 'How do you know what happened?'

'I found you when you tried to commit. You lay next to your diary so I read it be-' but I cut him off.

'You read my diary. You read MY diary. YOU read MY diary. YOU READ MY FUCKING DIARY THOMAS HOW COULD YOU?!'

That was when the doctor was finally able to say something again. 'I'm sorry boy but you're putting her on pressure. She can fall back into a coma again and I don't know if she'll wake up again.' he said to Thomas.

'Sorry Em, I didn't mean to...' Thomas said to me, but everything faded away. I fell into a big black hole again.

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**Don't forget to review :)**


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